At the heart of every surrogacy journey lies a key element: the matching process. This step is crucial in ensuring that surrogates and intended parents are paired together in a way that fosters a positive, trusting, and harmonious relationship throughout the entire surrogacy experience. But how exactly does the matching process work? Let's dive into what goes on behind the scenes and how surrogates and intended parents are thoughtfully brought together.
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What Is the Matching Process?
The matching process in surrogacy is the method by which intended parents (IPs) and surrogates are paired together in a match that aligns with their values, preferences, and goals. This isn’t simply about availability—it’s about compatibility on many levels. Surrogacy agencies play a key role in facilitating these connections, ensuring both parties feel confident and supported in their partnership.
The Role of the Surrogacy Agency
A reputable surrogacy agency plays a vital role in the matching process, acting as a bridge between surrogates and intended parents. Agencies conduct thorough screenings of both surrogates and IPs to ensure that they meet the necessary criteria for a successful journey. For surrogates, this includes medical, psychological, and legal evaluations, while intended parents also undergo a detailed profile assessment and criminal background checks to confirm their readiness for surrogacy.
Once the preliminary steps are completed, the agency begins the careful process of reviewing profiles and preferences to make the best possible matches. This isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach—agencies work to ensure that surrogates and IPs are aligned on key aspects of the journey.
(Listen to our podcast for insightful interviews with Intended Parents as they share their personal surrogacy journeys and experiences.)
Key Factors in the Matching Process
When it comes to making a successful match, there are several important factors that surrogacy agencies take into consideration:
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Shared Values and Expectations: Both surrogates and intended parents bring unique perspectives, expectations, and goals to the table. Ensuring that both parties are on the same page regarding important aspects like communication, level of involvement in the pregnancy, and handling of medical decisions is crucial for a smooth relationship.
Location: While not always a deciding factor, proximity can play a role in the matching process. Many intended parents prefer a surrogate who is located nearby so that they can attend medical appointments or be more involved in the pregnancy. However, with advances in virtual communication, distance is often less of an obstacle today than it once was.
Personality Compatibility: The relationship between surrogates and intended parents can become quite personal, so it’s important to match individuals who are likely to get along well. Agencies look for personality traits that complement one another to foster a positive dynamic.
Medical Preferences: Both surrogates and intended parents may have specific medical preferences regarding pregnancy and delivery. Whether it’s decisions around prenatal care or the birthing plan, aligning on these factors is essential to avoid any conflicts or misunderstandings during the journey.
Number of Embryos to Transfer: Some intended parents may wish to transfer 2 embryos to increase the chance of pregnancy or to have twins, though this is much less likely than it was even a few years ago, out of caution for the health and safety of the surrogate and babies. Surrogates must agree to the number of embryos transferred, so this is a key discussion point during the matching process.
Type of Relationship Desired: Some intended parents want to maintain a close relationship with their surrogate during and after the surrogacy journey, while others may prefer to keep the relationship more professional. The surrogate’s preferences are equally important in deciding what type of connection both parties seek.
The Importance of a Good Match
The success of the surrogacy journey heavily depends on a good match between the surrogate and intended parents. A well-matched pair will have a smoother, more enjoyable experience, characterized by clear communication, mutual respect, and shared goals. By carefully considering the preferences and values of both parties, surrogacy agencies can help foster long-lasting, positive relationships.
A good match can create lifelong bonds between surrogates and intended parents. Many surrogates and intended parents stay in touch long after the baby is born, often becoming like extended family to one another.
(Check out our podcast that discusses navigating relationships with IPs!)
Conclusion
When surrogates and intended parents are well-matched, the path ahead becomes more rewarding for everyone involved, leading to not only a successful surrogacy experience but also the potential for meaningful, lifelong connections.
By understanding the matching process, both surrogates and intended parents can approach their surrogacy journey with confidence, knowing that they are supported every step of the way.